I like knees. I love knees. Especially bare, bent knees. I love the curve of the caps and the hollows beside them. I want to write a book on knees. On smooth knees and hairy knees, pink knees and dark knees, Filipino knees and European knees, Chi-knees and Japa-knees, modest knees and pretentious knees, calloused knees and pampered knees, glad knees and sad knees.
I love knees.
When people made fun of Bjork’s (in)famous swan dress at the 2000 Oscars, they didn’t realize that it was a subtle red carpet fashion joke. Too bad that this and her assault on a Thai reporter (“Welcome to Bangkok!”) seems to be the only times we see Bjork in the limelight.
Anyway, narrowing it down to ten was painful, but here are her best videos. Ever. All are inventive, creepy, outrageous, and strangely beautiful at the same time. Enjoy!
1. All is Full of Love (Album: Homogenic. Director: Chris Cunningham) Robots making out! Female robots making out! Female robots who both look like Bjork making out!
2. Triumph of the Heart (Album: Medulla. Director: Spike Jonze) Cat lover (not cat-lover but cat who is a lover)! Bjork getting wasted! Dances with her cat lover!
3. Bachelorette (Album: Homogenic. Director: Michel Gondry) A story within a story within a story within a story within…
4. It’s Oh So Quiet (Album: Post. Director: Spike Jonze) Whispering Bjork! Shouting Bjork! Happy happy dancing!
5. Army of Me (Album: Post. Director: Michel Gondry) Gorilla dentists! Truck with bad breath! Tooth that became a giant diamond! Bjork running like a little kid!
6. Human Behaviour (Album: Debut. Director: Michel Gondry) Giant flies! Murdering teddy bears! Bjork in a space suit!
7. Pagan Poetry (Album: Vespertine. Director: ) Nipple-piercing! Sensual Bjork!
8. Unravel (Album: Homogenic. Director: Chris Cunningham) While you are away/ My heart comes undone/ Slowly unravels in a ball of yarn/ The devil collects with a grin
9. Who Is It? (Album: Medulla. Director: Dawn Shadsforth) Bells! Bjork in a giant bell outfit! Icelandic sunset!
10. I Miss You (Album: Telegram. Director: Spumco) Bjork getting eaten by a piranha! Bjork shaking her booty! Bjork’s condom breasts!
Once upon a time there was:
Jeopardy!
Galaga
Ice Climber
Battle City
Bomber Man
Shirley Fuentes and Isabel Granada together in one very late night show? Oy. I think I need to lie down.
Speaking of Isabel Granada, we passed by her new movie’s poster earlier today and Trina remarked how no one in the Air Force is actually taking her piloting ambitions seriously.
And speaking of Trina, I spent the afternoon listening to a host of her interesting (and semi-Lynchian) ideas. She resurrected her entrepreneurial plan of establishing a fruit-drying business for the export market. I think I encouraged this idea once by suggesting a possible product name (‘Dessertify’). She also spoke of harnessing mechanical energy from gym-goers to power houses, and of creating a system where people share or rent clothes for the purpose of reducing pressure on the resources. We also discussed the state of mining in the country and the excess energy of global warming inside the train to Ortigas. It seems Sweden really did her well. She said she will serve us a sample of Swedish smorgasbord soon!
And speaking of smorgasbord, many thanks to Tina and her departing sister for dishing out a delicious dinner and a dyad of delectable desserts. Indeed, a day of dessertification.
The last time my eyes went watery inside a cinema was when I saw United 93, a gritty yet moving, powerful yet unsentimental tribute to the victims and heroes of 9/11. Tonight, once again, I tried to fight off tears, but the latest (and definitely the best) Pixar release, Ratatouille, is just so beautiful that my tearducts had to relent. The animation, indeed, was perfectly pretty, but it was Brad Bird’s fine storytelling that won me over. The only other time I cried over a kid’s movie was, I dunno, Bambi maybe.
In other news from the animation world, some awesome The Simpsons Movie quotes:
Homer (holding a pig and letting it crawl on the ceiling): Spider-pig/ Spider-pig/ Does whatever a spider-pig does/ Can he swing/ from a web?/ No he can’t/ Cause he’s a pig/ Look out!/ cause he is the Spider-pig
President Schwarzenneger: I was elected to lead, not to read.
Wiggum (sees Bart skateboarding naked across town): I like men now.
Somewhat tangentially, if you are a fan of Dali’s works, you will most definitely love Un Chien Andalou, the most famous (and most shocking?) short film in cinematic history. Warning: graphic image ahead!
Earlier, we were talking about our earliest childhood memories. Mine was sitting on my father’s lap on a flight to Cebu (my fare was waived because apparently at 3 years of age, I passed as an infant) and seeing a small boat from the plane’s window. How could I ever forget seeing a boat from an airplane!
Add to the list of fine films posted below A Bout De Souffle (Breathless), a film which, like its English title, endears us with its endless energy, even though it is essentially 90 minutes of randomness, semi-pointlessness, and often aimless dialogues. Breathless is Godard’s debut and, along with Truffaut’s The 400 Blows, has been likened to Citizen Kane in its lingering cinematic legacy.
Shocking, strange, surreal, and subtly funny, Lynch’s Blue Velvet is, simply put, weird. Kyle MacLachlan’s character, upon returning home to his Lumberton hometown, finds a severed ear on a field. This discovery leads him to the dark underbelly of his perfect, suburban town, where he comes face to face with the nature of evil.
Oy. Un Chien Andalou is next in line!
Great scenes from five films from this
5. The 400 Blows
One of the best last scenes ever committed to film. Tracking shot, close up and then freeze frame.
4. The Hours
Brilliant feat of editing beginning at the 6-minute mark
3. The Decalogue
Scene from Decalogue 6 (“Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery” which was later expanded into a full-length feature.)
2. Mulholland Dr
Spoiler Alert. A final scene of immense creepiness.
1. Three Colors: Blue, White and Red
Red’s intro. A telephone call from England to France ending in a busy, blinking red signal.
Next five soon
Have you? Have you?
In Planet Terror, Robert Rodriguez’s half of Grindhouse (a double-feature homage to Z-movies which also includes Tarantino’s Death Proof), Rose McGowan plays Cherry Darling, a former go-go dancer with self-esteem issues, whose leg gets eaten by zombie-like creatures halfway through the film. In the film’s climax, she finally finds great use of her many useless talents when a gun is stuck to her severed leg and she mercilessly shoots the creatures to death. It was awesome even though most of the film was not. (Planet Terror Rating: 6/10)
Earlier, I rubbed elbows, literally, with Madam Auring at Robinson’s Supermarket, Circle C, Congressional Ave, Quezon City (City of the Stars!).
I was carrying a pack of Lemon Squares Twin Choco Stuff-ins (with a free eraser!) and she was wearing a purple shirt and white trainers, and for a microsecond, our forearms brushed against each other and I felt like destiny was responsible, as if Mars and Jupiter have conspired to align to allow us to share that brief moment of fateful connection.
The last time I caught sight of that unmistakable face was a couple years ago, in the same mall, during happier times, when she was still with ‘boyfriend’ Archie. But even today, although Archie-less and a couple years closer to menopause, her face still radiated a glow of happiness. Or maybe it was just the face lift.
